Don’t shit your pants

A true cult classic of crude comedy and retro charm, Don’t Shit Your Pants! is a short-but-legendary Flash game that parodies survival horror through text-based gameplay. With only a few typed commands between you and disaster, your mission is simple: prevent a messy catastrophe. It’s hilarious, weirdly intense, and surprisingly clever, with multiple endings and achievements to uncover in under a minute—if you can hold it together.

How to play Don’t Shit Your Pants!

This game is a cheeky nod to classic text-based adventures, where typing the right commands at the right time makes all the difference—literally between dignity and disaster.

Basic Controls

You type commands into a text box using your keyboard (desktop only).

Hit Enter to execute your command.

Example commands: open door, sit on toilet, remove pants.

The Goal

You must prevent the character from… well, soiling himself.

You begin with a warning: “Don’t shit your pants. A survival horror game.”

A timer begins ticking down. Your job is to figure out the correct sequence of actions before time runs out—or your bowels do.

Experiment and Explore

There are 10 achievements/endings, ranging from total failure to glorious relief.

Try weird commands—some yield surprising and hilarious outcomes.

Replay Value

Each run takes less than a minute, making it easy to replay and unlock every ending.

Think outside the box (and inside the bathroom stall).

Speed and curiosity are key!

⚠️ Note: The game contains crude humor and is not suitable for all audiences.

FAQ

Can I play this on mobile?

Unfortunately, no. This game requires keyboard input and does not currently support mobile or touchscreen play.

What kind of commands can I use?

You can type basic actions like pull door, sit, remove pants, fart, or even… well, we won’t spoil all the fun. Try experimenting!

How many endings are there?

There are 10 unique endings/achievements, ranging from epic failures to triumphant success—and a few bizarre ones in between.

Is there an actual win condition?

Yes. You can successfully use the toilet without soiling yourself. The game will let you know when you’ve won.

Is this game really by Cellar Door Games?

Yes! It was originally released by Decade Studios, the team that would go on to create Rogue Legacy. This was one of their earliest viral hits.